Yesterday, I wrote about how we have decided to focus more on Christ than Santa and giving than receiving this Christmas at our house.  I was going to write today about the reaction that this decision has made and how that reaction has confirmed to us that we are making the right decision.  But as I began to write about 2 instances where absolute strangers got in an argument with a 4-yr old in public places about the existence of Santa, I decided to let it go and to let this post lead more in a positive direction.  For this part-two post I will share more about what we are doing rather than focusing so much of Christmas on Santa.

I want to say again, because I think this is important, we are not anti-Santa.  We have been reading books about Santa and have been reading and watching The Grinch almost daily (it’s a favorite at our house). We have Santa all over the house from the tree ornaments to Webb’s three Santa hats that he loves to wear (see post from last week about how Webb, who loves to dress up and be characters, made a Santa suit and put his toys in a bag to pretend to give to other people).  The only difference is we have put a proper place for Santa in the overall Christmas celebration and recognized him for the fictional character that he is.  And let me also say, Webb is okay with this.  We talk a lot about truth, and he wants to know when things are true or not. I think he is glad to know that Santa is not real and seems to even be concerned that some of his friends don’t understand this (though he is not allowed to tell them).     

Here are a few things that we have done this year to help Webb understand the meaning of Christmas.  

• Regarding Santa, we have told him the history of St Nicholas and how he would give things to kids in need by filling their socks that were hung up by the fire place to dry.  This seems to be what began his interest in dressing up like the “Real Santa” as he would say and pretend to give his toys to people.
• Webb helped us shop for and pack an Operation Christmas Child box for a needy little boy.  We talked a lot about how this little boy would probably not get any gifts at Christmas if we didn’t give to him. This concept was one of the biggest reasons why the belief in Santa just wouldn’t mesh with what we want to teach him about giving. We also bought a goat and 2 chickens through World Vision to give to a family in Africa.  Webb watched the video and we talked about how much this would help them. He already knows about Africa because we sponsor a 4 yr old boy from there each month. He knows Africa is a place where people need our help.  We feel so blessed to be able to do these small things for others.   
• Andrea has let Webb see most of the gifts that we are giving everyone in our family, and he has “helped” wrap them with her. This has involved him in the giving process and has helped him get excited about the gifts we are giving to others.  
• Every night, throughout the year we read three books before bed. Webb picks one, we pick one, and the other is a story from his children’s Bible.  During Christmas, we have read mostly Christmas books: some about Santa, others about giving, and then one every night about Jesus’ birth. There is no doubt that he knows the story of Jesus’ birth, but this helps him remember that this is the purpose of why we do all that we do at Christmas (celebrate, give gifts, spend time with family...).
• On Christmas Eve we will make cupcakes for Jesus’ birthday and have a small birthday party for him.  Also this year, Webb has asked that we go caroling, and so we have picked a few people in our neighborhood to go and sing a few songs to tonight before bedtime.  Webb is very excited about this.  I will post more about this tonight after it is over.  

Christmas is about celebrating!  One of my favorite parts of the celebration will come Christmas morning as my family will join with my parents and both of my sister’s families at one sister’s house to eat breakfast and open gifts. Christmas is about joy! We will all experience joy on Christmas as we share the day with the ones we love.  Christmas is about giving. We will give gifts to each other because we love.  We celebrate joy and giving because of Jesus. That is what Christmas is all about and, distractions aside, that is what we want to teach our kids. 

DISCLAIMER:  The following blog post is going to be controversial, and many people reading this are going to disagree and maybe even think that we have made a bad decision. Oh, well!

 If you ask a child what Christmas is all about, unless they have been prepped, they will usually say: getting presents, playing with new toys, and, of course, Santa.  I remember as a kid being so excited to open presents on Christmas morning and then literally becoming depressed and sad when it was over.  In so many ways, Christmas day represented the end of a huge buildup and an even bigger let down.  There was a strong emphasis of Christ in my family and church, but still in my eyes, Christmas wasn't about giving; it wasn't about celebrating; it wasn't about Jesus!

 Two Christmas' ago, as our oldest son was 3 1/2, we decided not to make a huge deal about Santa. It wasn't that we avoided Santa; we just didn't over emphasis it. This year, as Webb is older and more aware, we have let him know that, like Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, and all the other characters that he likes, Santa is fun to talk about, read about, etc, but he is not real, either! We decided that we weren't going to be like so many parents who literally go out of their way to convince their child to think that Santa, in all of his glory, is real. 

 These are some of the reasons why we made this decision: 

1. The purpose of Christmas is Christ. This is highly ignored in our culture, mostly through the substitute of Santa.  We decided that if we believe that, then we need to reflect this in the raising of our kids.  Remember, we have not barred Santa from our house, but we refuse to let him be the center of our Christmas celebration in word, thought, or practice.  
2. It is more healthy to teach giving than receiving.  Giving reflects love, compassion, and the practice of considering others before ourselves.  There is no individual lesson of giving that we can learn from Santa.  Santa gives, but we receive, and as I have already noted, the letdown after the gifts are opened is real and weights heavy.   
3. We really feel like Santa has replaced Jesus as the symbol of Christmas.  Look around, Santa is everywhere. He is at the stores, on the TV, and in the minds of everyone we see. This would seem fine to me if it were in a little more moderation, but we are literally saturated with Santa Claus.  So what, you ask.  Here is the deeper message that I think this is teaching our kids.  One, Christmas is more about Santa than Jesus just based on the pure emphasis comparison.  Secondly, if Santa were real (a magical figure who watches over us as we sleep, knows if we are good or bad, and then brings gifts to us and everyone else in the world all in one day), then there would really be no need for Jesus (at least in the eyes of a child). Is that the message that we want to get across to our kids? 

So, what do you think about this? Do you think we are over-reacting?  Maybe stealing the fun and excitement of Christmas away from my kids? We are not going to celebrate Santa at our house! We will include him as a minor make-believe character of the holiday season, but we are not going to make Santa the center of the celebration.  Yet, there is still so much joy and excitement for Christmas.  Webb is still excited about getting gifts (heck, so am I), but he is equally excited about giving and sharing Christmas with everyone he knows and loves.  

I welcome your feedback about this in order to begin a conversation. You can reply here at the bottom of this post, or on my Facebook page at the post link.  Tomorrow I will post part two of this which will tell of the response and backlash from others (mostly strangers) about this decision we have made.  I think it will surprise you and prove my point even more.  

Yesterday, I wrote about one of my favorite theme's of Christmas: Giving. This is something that we spend a lot of time talking about at our house, especially this time of year. Even as I type this blog post, my 5-year old is waking around the house putting toys into a box that he wants to give kids who do not have toys. Giving is a beautiful part of Christmas.

Another theme of Christmas is peace. Jesus was called the Prince of Peace and the Savior was to come and bring peace on Earth. And that is what He did. But many might look around this world of ours and say that there is no peace on Earth. This world is filed with wars and conflict, famine and disease. But Jesus did not come, necessarily, to bring peace on Earth, but rather He came to be peace on Earth. The peace that Jesus is will long-last any war, famine, or disease. 

When I think about peace on Earth, I think about the carol, "The Bells on Christmas Day". Originally written as a poem, by Henry W Longfellow during the Civil War, it speaks to the struggle of mankind and the joy of the sound of bells ringing amidst this struggle. A soldier in the war on Christmas morning, he hears bells ringing. For a moment, he is taken back to the memories of his youth at Christmas, until he remembers that he is at war. As the song says, "And in despair I bowed my head, 'There is no peace on earth,' I said, 'For hate is strong and mocks the song, Of peace on earth, good will to men.” But then as he listens, he remembers, "Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: 'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, With peace on earth, good will to men.” May we always remember that at Christmas, we are celebrating the birth of the Prince of Peace. 

Here is the best version of this song that I know. It is sung by my friend Mark Hall and his band Casting Crowns. I have already listened to this song dozens of times this season. May it be a reminder of peace on Earth and good will to men.

There are many themes of Christmas. Depending who you ask, you might actually might hear a variety of answers from spiritual themes to material. A theme for Christmas might stem from an individual's background, traditions, understanding of Scripture, or relationship with friends and family. But if I were to think of one overlining theme of Christmas, I would have to say that it can be summed up in the word, GIVE. Here are 3 ways that Christmas reflects giving. 

1. God Gave. In Luke 2 we see the words of the angels to the shepherds, "I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people." God has given us all a Savior. This is the moment that the world changed. This is the reason that we have Christmas. If we forget this, then we aren't truly celebrating Christmas, but rather just a traditional holiday.

2. Magi Gave. In Matthew 2 we read that the Magi came and gave gifts to Jesus: "On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh" We also give gifts at Christmas. We give gifts to those we love and to God. If we can keep our focus more on the giving than the receiving at Christmas, we will keep a right perspective of the season.

3. Jesus Gave. In John 10, Jesus talks about himself as a shepherd and us as his sheep. Then he says, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep." Jesus came to give us life. This should affect everything that we do, at Christmas, and throughout the year. 

So, if our theme for this season of the year is giving, what are the things standing in the way of that theme? If there is something that doesn't reflect giving at Christmas, I think we should make sure that it is not interferring with this theme. Below is a video from a movement called Advent Conspiracy. AC really puts giving into perspective at Christmastime.

One of my favorite parts of Christmas is creating family traditions for my children. All of us have lasting childhood Christmas memories from our years growing up. I can still remember them all as a kid. Now, it is important, to my wife and me, to create those memories for our children. 

Over the past few years, we have thought long and hard about what kind of memories we wanted to create for our boys. We knew we wanted to give them fun memorable moments, but also it was important to us that they include an understanding and appreciation for the celebration of Jesus' birth. Here are a few family traditions that we have at Christmas. 

Decorations: We have filled our house with decorations for our kids. On the hearth is a collection of stuffed characters who sing and dance. This is a favorite all day long (READ: I already hear it in my sleep). On the tables in the den are two manger scenes, one that they can play with and the other "for eyes only". The play set is Fisher Price and is great for them to play out the story of Christ's birth, though one of the shepherds has already gone rogue and it appears that the Wise Men arrived in a wooden school bus. Of course, the tree is covered in ornaments that tell all of our stories, and the boys have a small tree with some of the ornaments they have gotten over the years.

Stories: We want our boys to hear the stories of Christmas. Every night we read stories to them, and in December, those stories relate to Christmas. From the story of Christ, all the way to the Grinch, it is important that they know about the stories of Christmas.

Advent: Advent is the anticipation and preparation of Christmas. We celebrate this in two ways. When I was a kid, we had a calendar that had small gifts on it (an ornament, candy, etc), each day, from Dec 1 to 24. I remember how much fun it was to wake up and open something every morning before Christmas. We now have this same kind of calendar for our boys. Also, on our kitchen table is an advent candle set. Every Sunday of December, leading up to Christmas Eve, we read a verse and light the candle. The trick so far is to get through the closing prayer before Wolf blows out the candle on the table.

Caroling: Last year we started a new family tradition of going around the neighborhood on Christmas Eve and singing a few carols to people at their front door (see last year's video). It was so much fun to see the smiles on their faces! We can't wait to do it again.

Christmas Outings: Each year we find a family or two and we go to our city's Zoo Lights, as well as see all the houses around town who have "Griswold-ed" their homes with lights. We also have some friends who create a live nativity scene in their front yard with livestock and neighborhood children, which is always a must-see. 

Giving: Christmas is about giving to others, and our kids need to, not only see us do this, but participate in the process. We give hats and gloves for our church's homeless shelter. We buy and pack two Operation Christmas Child boxes for kids around the world. We also buy sheep and goats through World Vision for families in Africa. We have participated in the Angel Tree program, as well as give our Compassion International children an extra donation this time of year for Christmas. These activities give our boys an understanding of "the least of these" and an appreciation for giving at Christmas time. I think that if they get anything that we try to teach them, it needs to be that we are called to love God and others. 

Those are just a few of the family traditions that we have at Christmas. There are even more that my wife and I have together and others that we plan to have as the boys get older. As a parent, one of our many jobs is to create a childhood for our children. Hopefully this will add to a meaningful childhood that will build character and be part of the stories that they, one day, tell their children. What are the Christmas traditions that you share as a family (comment below)?

-Originally written and published in my former monthly column for teenagers called, "...because you are young" inMontgomery's Journey magazine- December 2005.

I grew up in a neighborhood full of kids.  Most of the kids in the neighborhood were a couple of years older than me, but when we played, I was one of the guys.  And we played hard - real boys with scrapes and scratches from playing football in the front yard and the competitive drive of committing to a hide-n-seek spot for hours, just hoping to be the one still hidden when the game finally ended.  We were tough!  We were boys, except at Christmas time.  Looking back, I do not know what inspired the older few to decide that the rough and tough neighborhood clan would put on a drama of the Christmas story for our parents each season, but that is what we would do.  We turned a garage into a manger, our bath robes into costumes, and the family dogs into sheep for one afternoon a year to share the story of Christ’s birth with the people on our street.  I don’t remember being overly excited or embarrassed to do this; it was just what we did.  I do remember, though, not particularly wanting to play Joseph.  You see, all the cool, older guys got to be shepherds and Wise Men, but since I was the youngest, I had to be Joseph.  And since we did not have a girl in our group, one of the guys got his five-year-old sister, who was about half my age, to play Mary.  This did not add incentive for me to play Joseph.  I remember wanting to be a shepherd because the shepherds seemed like the cool guys.  They got to hang out with the sheep and just play all day and be dirty.  Every year I had hopes of graduating up to the rank of shepherd. 

I still like the shepherds today.  To me, the shepherds represent the regular people of the world. They are not overly smart, rich, or popular, but still God chooses to use them in a very important role in the history of His birth.  If you are a teenager reading this, then you are probably about the same age as the shepherds of Jesus’ day.  They were young guys and girls who were not highly thought of in their society.  Most adults overlooked them.  But God didn’t. 

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night,” the Bible says in Luke 2:8.  That’s when an angel appeared to them and told the shepherds that Jesus had been born.  Not living in that time period, it is hard for you and me to truly understand the significance of God choosing to reveal Himself to the lowly shepherds. “When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.’  “So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen Him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them”(Luke 2:15-18).

Did you catch that last part?  All were amazed at the news that the shepherds spread around the neighborhood.  It was the shepherds that God used to first tell of the Savior’s birth.  It was the shepherds who boastfully proclaimed the birth of Jesus Christ.  But, why would God use a shepherd? 

I believe God chose those shepherds because they were kids.  The shepherds were old enough to see the significance of the birth and young enough to believe that they could play an important role in the story.  It’s kind of like in Matthew 18:3 when Jesus said that we are to come to Him like a little child.  Jesus believed in the simple faith of a shepherd. 

This Christmas, how will you tell the story?  You don’t have to turn your carport into a manger to share the good news that a Savior is born.  Live out 1 Timothy 4:12 by boldly sharing the love, truth, and hope of Jesus this Christmas season.  God has chosen you to be a part of His story…because you are young.